


Louder Than Words

by runbravelybackward (victorienne)



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: M/M, Muteness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-06-14
Updated: 2012-10-31
Packaged: 2017-11-07 17:20:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/433564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/victorienne/pseuds/runbravelybackward
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <b>Permanently dropped</b>
</p><p>Cross-posted from <a href="http://homesmut.livejournal.com/17313.html?thread=37086113#t37086113">this kink meme prompt</a>:</p><p> </p><p>  <i>Remember all those cool headcanons for mute!dave?</i></p><p> </p><p>  <i>I want that, but for Dirk. </i></p><p> </p><p>  <i>After all, he's the one who grew up in isolation, and language formation is a very specific process with a critical period. It makes a lot more sense to me that, while he might be able to read/write and do a lot of other things, that he wouldn't be able to talk because he never developed those neurological pathways.</i></p><p> </p><p>  <i>It'd be pretty cool to see Jake (and maybe the other alpha's) being completely shocked at his inability to speak since he's so verbose on persterchum.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This will have smut eventually, but T rating until then~

Your name is Dirk Strider, and you've always thought your world was pretty active and noisy--robots whirring and clanking, movies playing, music blasting. There was always something going on in the isolated apartment where you lived before being taken to the orphanage. Even now, you’re always listening to music or tinkering with something. You just enjoy the background noise. Perhaps it's because the first eight years of your life were spent in near silence.

Your brother died when you were an infant, leaving behind a strange, puppet-like robot which he had programmed to raise you. Cal, as you call him, did a pretty good job of it, all things considered. Somehow, he always had food on the table for meal time, and your apartment always had electricity and running water. You’ll never know how he did it--and you don’t think you want to. But for the first years of your life, he was your best friend. He taught you all you needed to know about survival in your isolated world. He brought you books that told amazing stories and gave you knowledge about the world that he could not. You soaked up information like a highly absorbant towel, and you were far ahead of those your age with formal education.

When you were eight, Cal managed to get internet for your apartment, andyou discovered a whole world you never knew existed. It was as though your mind expanded exponentially in an attempt to fit as much information as you could come across. And that was when your world exploded with sound. You fell in love with robotics and music and your bro’s movies, and your life was suddenly infinitely brighter.

But as you continued your journey through the sounds the world had to offer, you made a disturbing realization: You were supposed to understand the sounds people made. As you watched more movies and listened to more songs, it was clear you were missing something important. Cal couldn't speak, so he taught you words by helping you learn the alphabet and writing them down. With some googling, you realized the sounds they're making are the words you've been writing. That fact fascinated and excited you--until you realize that speaking was something that people were supposed to be able to do from a very young age. But because no one was around to teach you, you never learned how.

With a bit of study, you quickly learned how to decipher the spoken word, and it felt as though you'd heard it your whole life. But despite that, you never tried to speak it yourself--until people suddenly arrived at your doorstep one day asking how you got there and where your parents were. You opened your mouth to try to tell them, having the words you intend to use firmly fixed in your mind. But all that came out was a halting, garbled mess. You'll never forget the way they looked at you with a mixture of total confusion and pity. You were so horrified by your complete failure that you vowed to never try to speak again. Even when they took you to the orphanage and the other kids made fun of you for never saying a word, you said nothing. When your foster family took you to counselors to get you to try speaking, you stubbornly refused.

Eventually, they gave up and settled for teaching you sign language so that you could attend school. You found that making words and letters into symbols with your hands was not so different from writing, and you adapted to it quickly. Once you could effectively communicate with your foster parents, they realized how quick-witted and knowledgeable you were. It felt as though the three of you were meeting for the first time as you discussed your lives, your interests, and your views, learning about one another in animated discussion. You grew to be so close that they chose to adopt you rather than give you up to another family. You realized that they were forfeiting their chance to adopt a "normal" child (they had told you they only wanted one child) in adopting you, and you asked them why they would do so. You almost broke your usual facade of calm and cried when they told you that, to them, you were normal, and that they were lucky to be able to take care of a child like you, much less call you their son. And true to their word, at home, you never felt like you weren't just like any other kid.

But at school, you never felt normal. You attended different classes than the "normal" kids, and some of the teachers treated you like you were unintelligent because you could hear but couldn't speak. Others thought you were just seeking attention or being difficult to deal with. You didn't really have any friends--there were only a few kids in your class, and you happened not to get along well with any of them.

But by junior high, everything changed. You started chatting regularly with three other kids who frequented a gaming forum, and for once, you hit it off with people your age. As you finished your last years of grade school, you stopped caring so much that school was still terrible--you knew that, when you got home, you had friends to talk to. With them, it didn't matter that you couldn't speak--how were they even to know? You loved talking with all of them. Jane was sweet but pragmatic, always willing to listen and advise--even if you all did what you wanted anyway. Roxy was ten kinds of crazy and always drunk, but she was clever and entertaining and became almost like a sister to you.

And Jake. What could you even say about him? He was dorky and unusual and oddly charming, always willing to tell stories of his "adventures" and quick to empathize when you had a shitty day. In no time, he became someone you were glad to call your best friend. And you found yourself falling in love with him, despite yourself. You knew nothing could ever come of it, since he lived so far away--and was, by all accounts, not a homosexual. But you were content with your combination internet friendship/crush through most of high school--until the summer before senior year.

You had all talked about meeting each other sometime--Roxy, in particular, was adamant about trying to get together the summer after your senior year. The Lalondes owned a lake house that could accommodate all of you, and Roxy had convinced her mother to allow you all to stay there for a week. Jane had already made arrangements to be there--she was more likely to be there on time and in one piece than Roxy. Jake was planning on coming, as well. But you'd been trying your best to use every excuse you could dredge up not to go. But they weren't about to give up--especially Jake, who also spent a significant amount of time convincing you that you should both attend the same college and room together. But you knew that would be a disaster, on multiple fronts.

It's not that you didn't want to meet them--you wanted that more than anything. But you knew that they could never just see you as "Dirk" anymore. Once again, you'd become "That Weird Kid Who Can't Talk." And you couldn't take that. They wouldn't even know sign language--you'd have to write or type everything out just to say anything at all. And Jake... You didn't want to know what he would think of you after he found out.

So you're not entirely sure why you're currently on a plane en route to New York, hoping that Roxy will be there on time to pick you up. Maybe you should be hoping she forgets you're even coming instead. You meant to tell her, before you left, that you couldn't speak. But you couldn't bring yourself to do it. As you exit the plane and head for the baggage claim, even though you look as calm as always, your stomach is twisting itself in knots. But you (reluctantly) agreed to this. And you do want to meet your best friends. But you're scared to death that, once they meet you, things won't be the same.


	2. Chapter 2

After you pull your suitcase off the baggage carousel, you take a seat on one of the benches to wait for Roxy. You spend a torturous half hour thinking about how your friends will react to your secret before you spot Roxy coming in the door at the opposite end of the baggage claim. You've all video chatted before (you always complained of a broken mic and being too cheap and lazy to get a new one so that you could be on cam and just type), so you'd recognize her anywhere. Taking a deep breath, you get up and walk over to her, luggage in tow. Though you refuse to let it show, the nervousness is welling up inside you.

But when Roxy turns and spots you approaching, she smiles and waves at you excitedly, and your apprehension vanishes. You wave back, and she runs over to you. You've been told that you come across as rather intimidating, so it makes you smile when Roxy nearly knocks you over with the force of her hug. You drop your bag to hug her back. This is already so much better than you imagined. When she releases you from her hug, she wavers a little, and you can smell the alcohol. Admittedly, you hardly expected her to be sober--maybe you should offer to drive. She’s more capable than she appears to be (she did get here, after all), but you’re better off safe than sorry. You’re about to sign that to her when you freeze, realizing she would have absolutely no idea what you’re saying. Instead, you hold up a hand to pause her rambling train of thought and pull your phone out of your pocket and type your question.

_Did you want me to drive?_

She raises an eyebrow in confusion. “Sure, if you want. Why the typing?”

Before you can think about it, you’ve typed out one word: _Laryngitis_

You wonder if it’s possible to kick yourself in the head--you wouldn’t be doing much damage, since your brain is clearly not in there at the moment. The deception wouldn’t be wise, even if this were the only time you’d ever see your friends. But not only had you and Jake independently decided to go to the same college and room together (you’ve never been able to say “no” to him), Jane and Roxy have started planning visits throughout the year, too. Maybe if you just tell her the truth and apologize--

“I was starting to think you actually couldn’t speak! Man, that would suck big time.”

Your smile fades slightly. She has no idea--but you guess it would suck for her, too, to have a friend who couldn’t even speak. It’s already extra work for her to understand you, and you start to think you should have kept making excuses not to come until they just gave up.

"'Kay, Dirk, let's get outta here." She starts heading for the door suddenly, tossing her keys at empty space about a foot to your left, but you reach out with one hand and catch them effortlessly.

\------------

The drive is surprisingly pleasant, despite the worry of potential awkwardness that comes as soon as you place your hands on the steering wheel of Roxy's pristine pink VW as you recognize that you won't be able to talk the whole way there. But for the several hours it takes to get from the airport to the cottage, Roxy chatters away, switching rapidly among entertaining stories (she says they're all true, but there's no way some of them were without exaggeration). There are even some that force you to stifle a laugh in order to keep up your ruse of laryngitis--you don't laugh often, anyway, but you certainly do laugh. Roxy is as friendly and talkative in person as she is online, and even though you tend to seem a bit stiff when meeting new people, she seems entirely at ease treating you the same way she always does. Admittedly, some of that ease may be alcohol-induced, but the fact remains.

By the time you're approaching the lake, you've almost forgotten about your nervousness. The amusement of the drive (including the few swerves you had to make due to Roxy's suddenly remembering that, no, you should be three lanes over, or yes, you should take that exit and not the next) was enough to distract you, but now that you're closing in on your goal, it returns in full force. You know that, now that you've managed to lie to Roxy, you're stuck with it, and you feel like a total douchebag. You're afraid of what they'll think of you when they find out the truth (because you know it's a "when" and not an "if"), but lying to your friends was never part of the plan. And yet, you didn't even have the balls to tell Roxy the truth. If you were any less calm and collected of a person, you would pull off the road and smack your head against the steering wheel repeatedly. But you are the epitome of calm and collected, so you just keep on driving, trying not to think about how much you just want this to be over already. And it hasn't even started.

\------------

When you finally pull up to the house, you see a bright cyan sedan already parked in the large driveway, and you can't help but smile. Jane's just as prompt as you expected her to be, and it wouldn't surprise you if she's been waiting there for an hour already. When you drive up next to her car, you glance over to see her immersed in reading what is probably a detective novel. As Roxy puts up the garage doors, Jane looks up, surprised by the sudden noise. Then, she glances over and smiles at you and Roxy, and you both wave back before you drive into the garage, Jane following suit through the other door. When she parks and gets out of her car, you notice that her short, curly hair is a bit more disheveled than usual. You absently wonder why until a bit of heat rushes to your cheeks--Jake was spending a few days visiting Jane before they drove together to the Lalondes' cottage. Some ruffled hair is probably the least of the damage Jane's sanity has incurred since the start of Jake's visit.

Before you can even get your door open, Roxy has gotten out of the car and run over to hug Jane tightly. As soon as you're available to be dragged over, Roxy pulls you into their hug. While you're usually not much for group hugs--or group anything--you can't argue with the fact that this one is surprisingly welcome. You can't help but smile as Roxy and Jane end up giggling together before all of you pull away. Jane hasn't so much as glanced at you which you think is a bit unlike her. She's been all but gazing longingly at Roxy the whole time, and Roxy's gaze hasn't wandered far from Jane's general location since you arrived. After a minute, Roxy seems to rouse herself sufficiently to ask just what you've been wondering.

"Where's Jake at?"

Jane sighs and rolls her eyes. "He's off gallivanting around the lake someplace. He can't sit still for more than five minutes! He's been gone a while, though. Maybe we should go look for him."

"Dirk, you go look for Jake while Janey and I get our luggage inside. We need to have a girl talk."

From the wink Roxy gives you and the blush on Jane's cheeks, you decide that they're probably not going to be talking about anything you need to hear--until Roxy spills it to you in a few hours, that is. You nod and salute Roxy lazily before going back outside to try hunting Jake down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On pause until September!


	3. Chapter 3

You navigate easily through the sparse forest, following the very clear path of footprints made by cleats--definitely Jake's. It's just like him to make everything into an adventure, even if he has to work for it. It would be easier, certainly, if you called out to him, but even if you could, that's not your style. You've been waiting for the day you get to meet your best bro for a long time, and it's all in the presentation. As you continue to follow the trail of footprints, you reach for your phone in your pocket--

But it's not there. You check your other pocket, then your other pocket, your back pockets. No phone. You make an irritated noise that serves as the closest you have swearing. You must have left it in Roxy's car. It wouldn't take long to go back and get it, and if you don't go inside, you won't be disturbing whatever Roxy and Jane are doing. You turn, about to sprint back to the house when--

"Strider!"

A grinning boy with green eyes and dark hair stands in your path--or his path that you were following. You can't decide if you're petrified with fear or just too excited to move. Before you can sort it out, Jake hugs you with such enthusiasm that you can barely choke out a laugh. You can't help but smile as you relax a bit and put your arms around him. It feels like the two of you stand there, entangled in your very masculine embrace, for an eternity, but when he starts to loosen his grip and step back, you know it wasn't long enough.

"So how are you, chap?"

You start to bring your hands up to sign an answer, but as you remember the situation, you freeze. There's no way you can do this. You make a show of searching for your phone again, and Jake looks at you curiously, one eyebrow raised. God, he's so cute. This would be hard enough even if you could just talk to him. Still not finding your phone, of course, you gesture to your throat and cough loudly, hoping that he'll take the hint. When you see a look of concern cross his face, you know you're safe.

"Lost your voice?" You nod--it's not really a untrue. Technically. "What inconvenient timing with the visit and all! I'm sure you'll be back to normal in no time." He grins at you, and you force yourself to give him a small smile back. "I guess we should head back up to the house now that everyone's here."

You shake your head and hold up your hands to prevent him from venturing back to the house, trying to figure out how to convey what you think is going on inside.

"Oh, would using my phone help?" Jake pulls his cell phone out of his pocket and holds it out to you.

You nod and take it carefully in order to avoid a very anime brushing of fingers as you grab it. _They're having some girl time up at the house._

"No party we can't crash, though--right, Strider?"

_I don't think you want any part of this one. Unless you really want to watch two ladies of our acquaintance talking about their feelings and making out. It's your choice, but I doubt your virgin eyes are up to it._

Jake blushes bright red, and you can't help but find it incredibly adorable. "So they're a...?"

_A couple? Yeah. It's been in the works for a while now._

"I never really thought that any of us would ever become entangled, romantically speaking. I approached Jane recently about my feelings for her, but she said we should remain friends. I guess I know why now." Jake gives a short, slightly pained laugh. "Don't get me wrong--I think it's top notch they're together! It's just a bit awkward now, I suppose. I should probably congratulate them both. Or maybe that would make Jane feel--"

You hit Jake's arm lightly before he starts trying too hard to make everyone else happy. You take his arm and start leading him down toward the lake shore. It's no surprise that he had a thing for Jane. They're quite similar, and you know they really hit it off. But you still aren't terribly sad Jane said no. There's still no guarantee he'd ever return your feelings, but his being single and having plenty of bro time is good enough for right now.

As you approach the water, you see that the wind has picked up quite a bit, and there's a sheet of dark clouds approaching. You quickly navigate Jake's phone for the weather forecast.

_It's supposed to storm tonight, so maybe we should get inside. We'll just knock. Loudly._

Jake nods slowly. "Yeah. I want to show you something I found out here, but I can bring you there tomorrow."

_We still have some time._

"No. It'll still be there tomorrow!"

He starts heading back to the house without another word or glance, and you're left to wonder what's going on with your best bro.


End file.
